Elliott had been sober for nearly ten years when he decided to come to APN for long-term recovery treatment. While he had taken away the drugs and alcohol from his life \u2013 and even worked in an addiction treatment center \u2013 Elliott had yet to face the trauma of his past, resulting in mental and emotional burnout.<\/p>\n
After staying at APN two separate times (all while remaining sober before, in between, and after admission), Elliott is finally able to reap the rewards of his hard work. On his APN podcast episode<\/a>, My Addictions Were a Symptom of Trauma: Recovery x Elliott<\/em>, Elliott opens up about his personal healing journey along with some life lessons he\u2019d like to share with others. Find out more, by reading the article below or checking out the full podcast on our Youtube channel<\/a>.<\/p>\n Elliott certainly didn\u2019t get an easy start to life.<\/p>\n \u201cI grew up in a family where both my parents were addicts,\u201d Elliott said. \u201cMy mom died of an overdose when I was 20. My dad died [from an overdose as well] about two years before me coming to APN \u2026 so my childhood was very chaotic \u2026 Every kind of child-related trauma you could have is a part of my story. [Then, when I was 26, I got sober]. I just kind of hit the ground running trying to take care of me and change.\u201d<\/p>\n For most people, getting sober comes with a lot of love, support, and gratitude from their family and friends. However, this was not the case for Elliott.<\/p>\n \u201cMy family wasn’t trying to get better,\u201d Elliott said. \u201cAt the time, I was actually kind of the black sheep for being in recovery.\u201d<\/p>\n With no one to look to for guidance, Elliott decided to forge his own path. Recovery became such a big part of his journey that he started working as a recovery professional himself.<\/p>\n Fast forward almost ten years and Elliott found himself in an impossible situation.<\/p>\n \u201cEverybody knows I’m a person in long-term recovery. I’m coming up on 10 years sober in December,\u201d Elliott said. \u201cI [continued to have] a lot of mental health issues come up [that] I had never dealt with, [including] trauma \u2026 I had a lot of anxiety [and] panic attacks [so] I reached out for help to one of the original [APN] members \u2026 I was the second patient [at APN] ever and I didn’t know what it was going to be like. I was half ashamed of myself because I [was a person with] long-term recovery who needed to go to treatment \u2026 I didn’t know how people would look at me for that.\u201d<\/p>\n Even though Elliott grappled with self-shame and blame, he still decided to take the courageous step to seek help.<\/p>\n \u201cIt was chaos in my head,\u201d Elliott said. \u201cI really wanted to be normal but [I knew I had] a lot of trauma. That’s the bottom line.\u201d<\/p>\n With this new understanding, Elliott could finally begin to heal what had been neglected inside him for so long.<\/p>\n As a mental health and addiction recovery professional himself, Elliott was blown away by the services offered at APN.<\/p>\n \u201cI was really lucky both times I was in APN,\u201d Elliott said. \u201cI had this group of people here with me also getting well that wanted to get better, so it made our process groups that much better \u2026 we held each other accountable to do the work that we were set out to do.\u201d<\/p>\n Not only did the other group members have a profound impact on Elliott\u2019s healing journey, but he was also in awe of APN therapists.<\/p>\n \u201cMy therapist was Lana and she pretty much changed my life,\u201d Elliott said. \u201cI didn’t know that trauma therapy could be so intensive and get so much out of you \u2026 When I began to do this trauma work, I didn’t realize just how much there was to unpack \u2026 I probably would have lied and been like, \u2018Oh I’m just a normal guy. My family \u2026 did their best.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n One thing Elliott had to overcome in his trauma-healing journey was rejecting any stigma that might have been associated with his actions.<\/p>\n \u201cThe thing is, I’m not a slouch in recovery,\u201d Elliott said. \u201cI’m leading meetings. I’m sponsoring guys. I’m doing this stuff \u2026 Sadly, there is a stigma that exists in these subgroups [where] you can be stigmatized for needing additional stuff. Another fear I had was: When I go to mental health trauma treatment, are people going to think I relapsed? Is it going to be hard to come back from that and prove that I didn’t actually relapse? The reality is, yes, that did happen. [But] I realized I had to surrender my whole entire life as I knew it and start over.\u201d<\/p>\n Elliott knew that if he didn\u2019t surrender, he could have had a completely different ending to his story.<\/p>\n \u201cThis surrender was like, I need help or this is going to ruin the rest of my life<\/em>,\u201d Elliott said. \u201c[I didn\u2019t realize how much trauma work] was going to help \u2026 with my character defects and everything like that, but it really does. When you do this additional work on yourself outside of just like the rooms and stuff, it’s a game changer for your whole outlook on everything.\u201d<\/p>\n Even though stigma and shame was a part of Elliott\u2019s story, he didn\u2019t let it define him.<\/p>\n \u201cWhen I surrendered to come to APN, I had to throw all that away,\u201d Elliott said. \u201cLike, whatever. If it works, it works. If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. And if people think something about me I don’t care anymore \u2026 At least I had a couple people in my court that were gonna support me and know the truth about why I came.\u201d<\/p>\n After leaving APN for the first time, Elliott found himself falling back into several of his self-deprecating habits.<\/p>\n \u201cSo I left APN [and you\u2019re not] supposed to enter into a relationship or start dating too quickly, [but I did],\u201d Elliott said. \u201cThe only thing I did was start going to therapy immediately after getting home. [Then], I [met] a girl [and] I started a relationship within a week [of leaving treatment] \u2026 I was definitely not in the right place \u2026 Time went on and I kept up with therapy a little bit, but I kept cutting it down to save money and eventually [just stopped altogether] \u2026 My work addiction was at an all-time high. I was sleeping about three hours a night [and eventually I cracked].\u201d<\/p>\n After reaching his rock bottom, Elliott realized how much he was trading one addiction for another.<\/p>\n \u201cYou would think nothing of it unless you hit a bottom. You know?\u201d Elliott said. \u201cYou get pats on the back for working hard. You get raises \u2026 But I burnt out big time. I went into a state of panic attacks, anxiety, regular nightmares \u2026 I won this big award in my county for being a servant of the county [but] I [was] having a panic attack the whole time [and] nobody knew \u2026 Everyday I’d be crippled by anxiety, just laying on the ground \u2026 practically ripping my hair out or playing the same video game over and over again trying to stop my head from racing.\u201d<\/p>\n Elliott knew he couldn\u2019t continue on like this, so he decided to seek treatment for the second time at APN. Fortunately, he was greeted with the love and support he needed.<\/p>\n \u201cEvery staff member that was here when I first came \u2026 made it a point to see me within my first or second day here,\u201d Elliott said. \u201cThey gave me a hug. They sat down with me. It was like having a one-on-one with every CA \/ case manager \/ admissions person that I knew \u2026 it really made me feel like that much more grateful to be back.\u201d<\/p>\n The second time around, Elliott was able to dive even deeper into his trauma healing. Most importantly, he walked away with a clearer understanding of his aftercare needs.<\/p>\n \u201c[After leaving APN for the second time I was doing] telehealth [and] IOP,\u201d Elliott said. \u201cI was doing groups. I did a mindfulness [course and] regular therapy once a week \u2026 I did that pretty strong for my first 60-90 days out of here [and] I just made it a priority when I got back home. Luckily, I’m blessed to have a job that kind of knew the nature of what I had been experiencing and they gave me a break [and] gave me time to really make that stuff a priority in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n Today, Elliott has a lot more tools to support him when life gets hard.<\/p>\n \u201cNow [I have this] understanding that my recovery is kind of three-fold,\u201d Elliott said. \u201cIt’s grounded in 12 steps, grounded in God, [and] grounded in trauma work. That has literally been my focus since I’ve been out of treatment \u2026 I’m telling you this year has been the kind of year where I see the purpose of it and I see so many people in recovery struggle with mental health stuff [who] are afraid to ask for help. Now that I get to be open with this part of my story more people have reached out to me in recovery [for guidance].\u201d<\/p>\n Elliott\u2019s story is truly unique. With both parents having suffered and succumbed to addiction, he knew he didn\u2019t want to end up the same. Still, after years of sobriety and even working in the recovery field, Elliott found himself struggling with the same things that led him to pick up the substances in the first place. Now that he\u2019s finally taken the time to tend to his deep inner wounds, he has some valuable lessons to share with others.<\/p>\n \u201cYou have to be willing to do the work while you’re here,\u201d Elliott said. \u201cYou’re not gonna get anything out of just sitting there [and] attending something \u2026 I think some people think they go to treatment and treatment just makes them better. Like, just the physical act of going to a treatment center is what makes them better. Go to a doctor. I get a pill \u2026 I’m good. I just take this pill. I’m good. You know? That’s just simply not the case. It’s about the effort that we put into getting better.\u201d<\/p>\n As Elliott learned from personal experience, doing the work isn\u2019t easy.<\/p>\n \u201c[When you\u2019re in treatment], there’s topics that are hard that come up and you want to not say anything,\u201d Elliott said. \u201cBut if you have an inkling that you need to say it, you need to get it off your chest. And if you do, it’s gonna make it that much better in the long run.\u201d<\/p>\n Also, just because you put in the work once, doesn\u2019t mean it has somehow magically stopped.<\/p>\n \u201cI believe my primary thing that I need to continue to work on for the rest of my life is my trauma,\u201d Elliott said. \u201cIf I don’t come to grips with the reality that I’m going to need to continue to work on this for the rest of my life, then I might slip back into those trauma responses or the things that I [use to] cope.\u201d<\/p>\n Even though it can seem daunting to look at our struggles in this long-term way, Elliott has come to understand that this is just a part of his story, and not who he truly is.<\/p>\n \u201cWe have a story but we are not our story,\u201d Elliott said. \u201cWe might have a past but it doesn’t define who we actually are. That’s helped me step outside of being ashamed of myself or self-hate \u2026 there’s still the days when I’m like, Ah. It’s tough \u2026 But then there’s just days where I’m like, You know man \u2013 you are not like how you used to be and you should be proud.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n Elliott serves as an inspiring reminder that the work never ends, but there\u2019s always something to be proud of if you keep showing up.<\/p>\n If you\u2019re interested in learning more about All Points North and our addiction, trauma, and mental health recovery programs, submit our confidential contact form<\/a> or call us at 855.934.1178<\/a> today. You never know how good your life can get when you allow yourself to receive the gifts of sobriety and healing.<\/p>\n Listen and watch the Elliott\u2019s episode of Recovery x APN below, and find more episodes on YouTube<\/a>, Spotify<\/a>, and Apple Podcasts<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Written by Samantha Carter Elliott had been sober for nearly ten years when he decided to come to APN for long-term recovery treatment. While he had taken away the drugs and alcohol from his life \u2013 and even worked in an addiction treatment center \u2013 Elliott had yet to face the trauma of his past, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":15,"featured_media":35679,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"rank_math_lock_modified_date":false,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[2,310,309,314],"tags":[32,107,80,66,269,382,41,111,260],"class_list":["post-40323","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-resources","category-addiction","category-mental-health","category-social-club-alumni","tag-addiction","tag-addiction-recovery","tag-addiction-treatment","tag-mental-health","tag-mental-health-therapy","tag-recovery","tag-sober","tag-sobriety","tag-trauma"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/apn.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40323","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/apn.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/apn.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/apn.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/15"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/apn.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=40323"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/apn.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40323\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/apn.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/35679"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/apn.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=40323"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/apn.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=40323"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/apn.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=40323"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}A Recovery Professional From a Family of Addicts<\/h2>\n
Coming to Recovery Treatment Sober<\/h2>\n
The Mental Health Professional Who Was Blown Away By APN\u2019s Mental Health Services<\/h2>\n
Overcoming the Stigma and Being Honest About the Struggle<\/h2>\n
Falling Off Track<\/h2>\n
Coming Back to APN and Doing Things Differently Post-Treatment<\/h2>\n
Elliott\u2019s Lessons Learned<\/h2>\n
More From Elliott<\/h2>\n