After experiencing traumatic sexual assault in 2018, Tiffany\u2019s life turned upside down. While seemingly fine on the outside looking in, Tiffany was fighting an internal battle that would later culminate in addiction and an inability to cope.<\/p>\n
When Tiffany came to the All Points North (APN) Lodge<\/a> in 2022, she knew things needed to change. Just eight months later, she opened up about her process of recovery and transformation in the APN podcast episode<\/a>, Learning to Trust Myself After Trauma: Recovery x Tiffany<\/em>. To learn more about Tiffany\u2019s healing journey, check out the podcast<\/a> or continue reading the article below.<\/p>\n As Tiffany opens up about the lasting effects of her sexual trauma, it\u2019s apparent just how life-changing this type of event can be.<\/p>\n \u201cI came here for PTSD and anxiety and depression,\u201d Tiffany said. \u201cI had just gotten to a place in my life where I was desperate for change\u2014desperate for freedom. I was chasing my worth in all the wrong directions \u2013 didn’t know how to cope with life anymore on my own \u2013 and I was just desperate.\u201d<\/p>\n While it had been four years since this scarring incident, Tiffany\u2019s attention was brought back to the assault when an investigation surfaced years later.<\/p>\n \u201cI kind of put it aside and then 2020 came around,\u201d Tiffany said. \u201cI got a call from a reporter and investigator and found out I was one of at least 10 victims to this person. [Suddenly], I was involved in this big case \u2026 so it brought all these PTSD symptoms to light and things I had been pushing down for years.\u201d<\/p>\n At this point, Tiffany started seeing a therapist. But when that wasn\u2019t providing any relief for her debilitating symptoms, she turned to alcohol and drugs as a coping mechanism.<\/p>\n \u201cI just couldn’t cope on my own anymore,\u201d Tiffany said. \u201cSo I was drinking. I was using Benzos \u2026 I just couldn’t figure out how I was gonna survive any longer \u2026 I had a trip planned to Hawaii \u2026 and I was like, I need help now. I gotta go now<\/em>. So I canceled all my flights and came to APN. [It] took a handful of Atavan to get me [here] on my first day.\u201d<\/p>\n When Tiffany finally made the decision to seek treatment, it took some people in her life by surprise.<\/p>\n \u201cExternally, most people didn’t know [I was suffering],\u201d Tiffany said. \u201cWhen I called my boss and said, \u2018Hey, I’m taking off work. I’m going to treatment for PTSD.\u2019 It was like, \u2018Wait. What?\u2019 You know \u2026 no one really knew. I had mastered that. But I knew I needed it for sure.\u201d<\/p>\n When Tiffany decided to take that leap of faith to seek treatment, she took her time in trying to find the right place.<\/p>\n \u201cIt was days of Googling,\u201d Tiffany said. \u201cI came across APN’s website\u2026 and I was like, Wow. This place sounds like it’s really scientifically-based<\/em>, and I wanted [that]. [Also], it had a gym. That was a big thing. And a place where I felt like I could explore my spirituality without it being forced or controlled. So that’s why I chose APN.\u201d<\/p>\n While coming to APN wasn\u2019t easy, Tiffany began settling into the welcoming atmosphere.<\/p>\n \u201cThe first few weeks were rough,\u201d Tiffany said. \u201cYou’re coming in, you’re stabilizing, you don’t have your substance or really any escape. The only escape I had (luckily) was the gym and I spent a lot of time in there. But the first three weeks are rough. [Still], there’s a great group of people here who want to help you and be on your side.\u201d<\/p>\n Soon, Tiffany\u2019s fears about being in a restrictive environment were dissipated.<\/p>\n \u201cI was like, I’m not gonna be able to get a pedicure or my nails done the entire time I’m there. I’m gonna come out looking like a rag<\/em>,\u201d Tiffany said. \u201cBut, no. We get to do those things \u2026 they’re monitored, but you still get to live. So that was helpful. [Also], we did horseback riding<\/a> and things like that. Being able to take advantage of those opportunities made me feel more like a human.\u201d<\/p>\n When you\u2019re doing difficult healing work, it\u2019s important to take breaks\u2014something that APN understands and implements throughout their holistic approach.<\/p>\n \u201c[We would] get those necessary breaks from processing because it’s hard work,\u201d Tiffany said. \u201cIt’s like 24 hours a day you’re processing and you’re doing assignments and you’re talking about your trauma and you’re thinking about it again and again. So yeah, having those breaks really helped.\u201d<\/p>\n Part of what makes recovery at APN so successful is the innovative and comprehensive treatment plans they implement. In particular, Tiffany shared about the different modalities that worked well for her.<\/p>\n \u201cI got paired with a counselor [and] it felt like we were match made in heaven,\u201d Tiffany said. \u201cShe knew how to read right through me. She called me out. She knew when I was paying attention and when I was blocking everything out. She knew when I was in another world before I knew \u2026 It’s weird. I sometimes still hear her voice [when I\u2019m] journaling \u2026 She is straight and direct and that’s what I needed.\u201d<\/p>\n In addition, Tiffany highlighted how much the other offerings at APN helped her.<\/p>\n \u201cThe really cool thing about APN is it offers you all of these treatment modalities,\u201d Tiffany said. \u201cYou have the spiritual aspect if you want to engage that, you have the TMS<\/a>, the hyperbaric oxygen chamber<\/a>, massage<\/a>\u2014you have all these different avenues to add into your treatment which was really cool for me.\u201d<\/p>\n During her stay at the Lodge, Tiffany took advantage of trying out new therapies.<\/p>\n \u201cI did TMS which I felt significantly helped with my anxiety and sleep issues [as well as my] hyper vigilance that came with the PTSD.\u201d<\/p>\n Additionally, she got a lot out of her classes and process groups.<\/p>\n \u201cThe classes are great,\u201d Tiffany said. \u201cI feel like they were adequate in providing me the skills I needed to be successful after I left here. [Also], I still talk to some of the people from my process group \u2026 you build this bond that you don’t expect.\u201d<\/p>\n Another thing Tiffany didn\u2019t quite expect was to choose to live a sober life after leaving APN.<\/p>\n \u201cI came here thinking, I just have this PTSD and I need to fix that and move on,<\/em>\u201d Tiffany said. \u201cI never thought, I’m gonna leave here and not drink again<\/em> \u2026 I remember my therapist, Katie, had asked me, \u2018Why are we still circling this?\u2019 \u2026 That’s when it kind of hit home for me clearly \u2026 it just got to the point where, I mean, I could try it again. Sure. But what good does it do for me?\u201d<\/p>\n The more she reflected on this decision, the more she realized she was just using her trauma as a scapegoat for her alcohol and substance abuse issues.<\/p>\n \u201cI remember one day \u2026 I was writing down this list [of all] the bad things that I’ve done while drinking,\u201d Tiffany said. \u201cAnd I was like, Oh my goodness. If somebody gave me this list, I would tell them to never drink again.<\/em> So it was a pretty easy decision from that moment on. Before that, I was thinking, I’ve got this case of Quintessa wine I gotta go finish and then I’ll reassess that.<\/em> But then I was like, Oh. That’s my friend lying to me again.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n With unexpected decisions came unexpected rewards.<\/p>\n \u201cThis journey of sobriety has been a great way to regain power in my life in a way that I didn’t expect.\u201d<\/p>\n While Tiffany explored a lot of new therapies during her stay at APN, there were others she didn\u2019t have the opportunity to try. However, she was later able to pursue them through outpatient programs with APN<\/a>. In particular, Tiffany opened up about the impact that EMDR had on her aftercare treatment.<\/p>\n \u201cI’m working with Amy Davies [in my telehealth groups] and it has been phenomenal,\u201d Tiffany said. We’re doing EMDR so that’s been something that has been really beneficial for me.\u201d<\/p>\n Tiffany goes on to further illuminate her experience with EMDR<\/a>.<\/p>\n \u201c[EMDR] can be used for a variety of things but I’m using it mainly for trauma,\u201d Tiffany said. \u201cFirst, you have a safe place in your head \u2026 You need to be able to access this place whenever you get too overwhelmed. [Then], what my therapist does is she will bring up a traumatic [incident] \u2026 The entire time we’re getting my brain activated in that area I’m tapping \u2026 or watch[ing] a ball go across the screen [which] activates [certain] parts of your brain. [Through this process], I’m able to really pull out these memories and weird details from these traumatizing [experiences] \u2026 so it’s really good for processing.\u201d<\/p>\n With her EMDR sessions, Tiffany\u2019s been able to continue her healing journey beyond her initial residential stay with APN.<\/p>\n Anyone can go to treatment for their trauma, mental health, or substance abuse issues. But not everyone is able to leave with the skills needed to maintain a healthy lifestyle post inpatient care. Tiffany highlights the ways in which APN was able to help facilitate that for her.<\/p>\n \u201cI feel like APN gave me the skills I needed to start my mental health journey and then I was able to go home, get back into my real world, and [continue moving forward]. I’ve done IOP [and am] still using the APN therapist \u2026 Every day, [I\u2019m putting] the pieces together \u2026 I don’t think we ever have it [all] figured out, but I\u2019m a million times better than I was a year ago, and I’m way better than I ever imagined.\u201d<\/p>\n Now, Tiffany has the opportunity to practice many of the things she learned while in treatment.<\/p>\n \u201cJust exercising my skills in my general life \u2013 whether it’s work or relationships or friendships \u2013 has been really important,\u201d Tiffany said. \u201cBefore APN, I didn’t know how to put my needs first or how to listen to my body or my intuition. Now, I know how to do those things. I hear my intuition. I hear my body telling me what to do and what it needs and I listen to it. I can set boundaries. No, it’s not easy, but life gives you a lot of opportunities to practice setting boundaries and I keep practicing it \u2026 it’s all about finding your circle that you can feel safe and vulnerable in.\u201d<\/p>\n While this continued work isn\u2019t easy, it allows Tiffany to live a life beyond her trauma and grow into a better version of herself.<\/p>\n \u201cYou really have to address all areas,\u201d Tiffany said. \u201cIt is so easy to come out of treatment and find another way to escape yourself\u2014like trading one addiction for another \u2026 I have to constantly be aware of that. You know, I found myself signing up for too many classes \u2026 and I was like, Oh, no Tiffany. That’s an old Tiffany pattern.<\/em> We don’t do that anymore. I mean, life’s not a race and your mental health is important so making time for it is what helps you be successful.\u201d<\/p>\n Today, Tiffany has a completely different outlook than the one she had before coming to APN.<\/p>\n \u201cI have made a lot of progress and I owe it all to APN providing me the place to do it,\u201d Tiffany said. \u201cJust comparing where I was a year ago versus now [is like] night and day.\u201d<\/p>\n If you\u2019re interested in learning more about All Points North and our addiction and mental health recovery programs, fill out our confidential contact form<\/a> or call us at 855.934.1178<\/a> today. You never know how good your life can get when you make time for the things that matter most.<\/p>\n Listen and watch Tiffany\u2019s episode of Recovery x APN below, and find more episodes on YouTube<\/a>, Spotify<\/a>, and Apple Podcasts<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Written by Samantha Carter After experiencing traumatic sexual assault in 2018, Tiffany\u2019s life turned upside down. While seemingly fine on the outside looking in, Tiffany was fighting an internal battle that would later culminate in addiction and an inability to cope. When Tiffany came to the All Points North (APN) Lodge in 2022, she knew […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":15,"featured_media":35679,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"rank_math_lock_modified_date":false,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[2,310,309,314],"tags":[32,107,212,214,66,398,229,193],"class_list":["post-40317","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-resources","category-addiction","category-mental-health","category-social-club-alumni","tag-addiction","tag-addiction-recovery","tag-emdr","tag-emdr-for-ptsd","tag-mental-health","tag-mental-health-recovery","tag-mental-health-treatment","tag-ptsd"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/apn.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40317","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/apn.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/apn.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/apn.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/15"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/apn.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=40317"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/apn.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40317\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/apn.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/35679"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/apn.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=40317"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/apn.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=40317"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/apn.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=40317"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}The Post Traumatic Stress of Sexual Assault<\/h2>\n
Seeking Treatment at APN<\/h2>\n
A Plethora of Therapies That Actually Work<\/h2>\n
Regaining Power Through Sobriety<\/h2>\n
Exploring EMDR Post Treatment Through APN Aftercare & Telehealth Services<\/h2>\n
APN Gave Tiffany the Skills Needed to Succeed In Her Mental Wellness Journey<\/h2>\n
More From Tiffany<\/h2>\n