On the outside looking in, Christine looked like she had her life together. Being a nurse for over 10 years, she was often the person people would depend and rely on. However, after years of hiding her problem with opioids, Christine\u2019s struggle with addiction was finally revealed during one of her nursing shifts when she was caught stealing and using hospital drugs.<\/p>\n
After hitting rock bottom, Christine was forced to make some big decisions in her life. Several years later, she\u2019s now working at an addiction rehab center where she uses her personal healing story as a gift to inspire others to seek sobriety. To learn more about Christine\u2019s path to recovery, check out the full All Points North (APN) podcast episode<\/a>, I Deserve Sobriety: Recovery x Christine<\/em>, or continue reading the article below.<\/p>\n Christine had been struggling with addiction since she was 19 years old. However, she was probably the last person her friends and family thought it would happen to.<\/p>\n \u201cI was the best kid,\u201d Christine said. \u201cI didn’t do anything I shouldn’t have done. I didn’t even drink. [Then], when I had legal consequences, I decided to do all the drugs. I ended up going to treatment once in Florida [and] I stayed sober 11 months. Then, I kind of dipped back into my d-o-c, which is opiates and benzo, [and that\u2019s] what led me to APN.\u201d<\/p>\n Deep into her addiction, Christine found herself somewhere she never thought she\u2019d be.<\/p>\n \u201cI was working as a nurse \u2026 and I picked up a night shift,\u201d Christine said. \u201cI don’t remember the shift\u2014like I ended up stealing or diverting oxycodone and then I was shooting myself up with straight Ativan and I guess I disappeared. [Then] they found me in a bathroom with needles all around. I got escorted off the premises by police and was sent home. Obviously, I was terminated. I didn’t have any legal consequences but at that point I was like, something’s got to give<\/em> \u2026 so I looked up places and I found All Points North<\/a>.\u201d<\/p>\n With her back against the wall, Christine reluctantly sought treatment once again.<\/p>\n \u201cI was living with my parents and my husband [at the time],\u201d Christine said. \u201cIt was either go somewhere and do something or get out. I was like, Okay. Well I guess I’ll go<\/em> \u2026 I probably was losing my nursing license so I was like, I might as well go.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n Prove That You Can\u2019t Be Fixed<\/p>\n When Christine first came to treatment, she didn\u2019t believe it would work for her.<\/p>\n \u201cI ended up coming in on April 1st [of 2021] and, of course, I took everything I could take on the way up,\u201d Christine said. \u201cAs soon as I got up there and the door shut, I was like, Yeah. No. I’m not going to do this. I don’t want to be vulnerable<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n After that, she decided she was on a mission to prove she was unfixable.<\/p>\n \u201cI had something in me that just was like, No. I think you’re too broken. You can’t be fixed. So you’re going to do everything and you’re going to prove to everybody that they can’t fix you.<\/em> And that’s kind of how I went into\u2026 it.\u201d<\/p>\n Little did Christine know that while trying to prove she was unfixable, she would actually begin to heal.<\/p>\n \u201cThen, I met Dustin, who was my [APN] therapist,\u201d Christine said. \u201cI remember my first meeting with Dustin. He was like, \u2018Listen\u2014we got to go through this thing and you can tell me all the traumas of your life but we have 28 days to figure this out for you,\u2019 [because] that’s what I signed up for \u2026 And I was like, Okay. I can get with this guy. This guy is pretty chill.<\/em> [And] that probably was the turning point.\u201d<\/p>\n This wasn\u2019t Christine\u2019s first time in therapy or in treatment. But, it was the first time she felt like she was able to embrace her true feelings rather than try to figure out how to get rid of them.<\/p>\n \u201cI came in being really numb so I had trouble figuring out my emotions,\u201d Christine said. \u201cThe only emotion I knew and was comfortable with was anger. I had been to therapy before where [I was told] like, \u2018You really need to work on that\u2014fix that.\u2019 And Dustin’s like, \u2018Screw that! Use it. Use it to your [advantage] to figure this out.\u201d<\/p>\n Through her transformative therapy sessions, Christine was able to start to view sobriety in a whole new light.<\/p>\n \u201cThe very last thing Dustin ever told me on the day that I left was so powerful,\u201d Christine said. \u201cHe was just like, \u2018You deserve sobriety and I need you to know that.\u2019 I still use that to this day \u2026 it’s not that I needed it\u2014it’s that I deserved it. And that was something that was very simple and powerful [for me].\u201d<\/p>\n Looking back on the impact of her therapy, Christine knows just how much it meant.<\/p>\n \u201cIt’s not even that he saved my life,\u201d Christine said. \u201cHe taught me how to save my own. And that’s the most [incredible] thing he gave me.\u201d<\/p>\n Not only did Christine meet an incredible therapist at APN, but she also made lasting connections with some of the other program participants.<\/p>\n \u201cI ended up getting in good with Kirsten, [my roommate], and then Drew. We were kind of The Three Amigos,\u201d Christine said. \u201cKirsten loved people so she always brought me into like these sober parties and that’s what I remember the most about APN\u2014[it\u2019s] where [I] learned how to have sober fun in a safe environment.\u201d<\/p>\n When you go to a rehab facility, fun isn\u2019t likely the first thing you expect to have. But, as Christine found out, that was really something that APN was good at facilitating.<\/p>\n \u201cWe used to hang out in the hot tub. We used to go up and watch sunsets,\u201d Christine said. \u201cI don’t think it’s a secret that APN has NFL guys that come in. They would come hang out with us \u2026 so we would just have like this community of fun and that was more powerful than anything else.\u201d<\/p>\n Fortunately, leaving APN didn\u2019t have to mean leaving behind these new connections.<\/p>\n \u201cKirsten and Drew are still, to this day, my best friends,\u201d Christine said. \u201cWe still have a group chat, we Zoom, we talk to each other. Kirsten just came up last week and we hung out for a couple of days\u2014like those are my lifelong friends.\u201d<\/p>\n At the same time Christine had made some new meaningful relationships, she\u2019d have some repair to do in the relationships waiting for her back home.<\/p>\n \u201cI think the hardest thing about coming home is your family has been away from you and they’re hearing about all this great stuff,\u201d Christine said. \u201cSo my husband, I think, kind of almost expected me not to have angry moments because \u2018I’m fixed.\u2019 And it’s like, \u2018No. That behavior is still there. I still have to work on it. I have a lot of work to do.\u2019 And then one of the things Dustin told me was like, \u2018Don’t hesitate to play the recovery card\u2019 \u2026 and that’s what I did. I think that was really hard \u2018cause I had to be really selfish in a way.\u201d<\/p>\n Adjusting back to the \u201creal world\u201d would require Christine to let go of more than just her loved one\u2019s expectations.<\/p>\n \u201cI lived in a really small town where they definitely heard about what happened and I was definitely judged,\u201d Christine said. \u201cSo I couldn’t even find a job and I was like, I’m living with my parents. I can’t be a nurse. How am I going to get out of this situation?”<\/em><\/p>\n Not always sure how she was going to get through it, Christine continued taking things one step at a time.<\/p>\n \u201cI kind of trudged on,\u201d Christine said. \u201cI kept with my IOP. I kept with my meetings. I went when I didn’t want to go. I went double when I didn’t want to go. I worked with a sponsor. I was open with my family. And I didn’t attend things. There were just things I didn’t do because if I felt like it was a risk to my sobriety, it wasn’t worth it \u2026 I started to focus more on repairing my relationships than what I was doing for work.\u201d<\/p>\n Before long, Christine was able to return to work. However, it was vastly different from any professional setting she\u2019d been in before.<\/p>\n \u201cThrough some connections in my small town, I got a job as a lunch lady at a cafeteria,\u201d Christine said. \u201cIt was part-time and I was probably making the least amount of money I’ve ever made\u2026 It was like this humbling [experience]. Then, I still [didn\u2019t] know if I want[ed] to be a nurse \u2026. [So], I just did my job the best that I could \u2026 and \u2026 I figured it out.\u201d<\/p>\n Continuing to work hard, Christine\u2019s situation began to turn around.<\/p>\n \u201c[The] Board of Nursing eventually came back and \u2026 finally let me have a nursing license with a ton of restrictions,\u201d Christine said. \u201cThen I found Foundry Treatment Center, which is where I work now \u2026 [My boss] decided to take the chance [on me].\u201d<\/p>\n Not only did her boss take a chance on her, but he also supported her through her sobriety.<\/p>\n \u201cOne of my other addictions is \u2026 I will work until you won’t let me work anymore,\u201d Christine said. \u201cLuckily, with being on probation, I’m not allowed to do that and my boss is very cognizant of it. So when I’m at work, I’m at work. And when I’m not at work, I’m living my best life. I work to live. I don’t live to work anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n Not only has Christine learned how to have sober fun since coming to APN, but she\u2019s also learned how to enjoy her life outside of the workaholic grind. This shift, in turn, has helped her change her entire method of thinking.<\/p>\n \u201cI used to [overthink] all my interactions and now I don’t,\u201d Christine said. \u201cEven if something was a little awkward \u2026 I’ll just say it. [My clients where I work always tell me], \u2018You just seem super real.\u2019 And [I\u2019m] like, \u2018It’s \u2018cause I’ve been through it \u2026 You can live this best life if you just stay sober and it just keeps getting better.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n While the idea of living a fulfilling life sober once seemed like a hopeless pipedream to Christine, it is now her driving force.<\/p>\n \u201cIn the word hopeless is the word hope,\u201d Christine said. \u201cSo you just have to find the hope in the hopeless and then things will be better. That’s what I do and I think that’s what helps keep me sober\u2014know[ing] there’s always a light, there’s always something.\u201d<\/p>\n If you\u2019re interested in learning more about All Points North and our addiction, trauma, and mental health recovery programs, submit our confidential contact form<\/a> or call us at 855.934.1178<\/a> today. You never know how good your life can get when you allow yourself to receive the gift of sobriety.<\/p>\n Listen and watch Christine\u2019s episode of Recovery x APN below, and find more episodes on YouTube<\/a>, Spotify<\/a>, and Apple Podcasts<\/a>.<\/p>\nAddiction Treatment and Relapse<\/h2>\n
Leaning Into Therapy<\/h2>\n
Sober Parties and Lasting Connections<\/h2>\n
Adjusting to Life Back at Home<\/h2>\n
Figuring Out Her Next Moves<\/h2>\n
Living Her Best Life, Sober<\/h2>\n
More From Christine<\/h2>\n