The Brody family may be unlike any other family you\u2019ve heard or known about, but they have a lot of wisdom to share when it comes to opening up about how addiction affects loved ones. Having multiple members of their family on different paths of recovery, they know what it\u2019s like to both succeed and fail in their individual roles throughout the process.<\/p>\n
In the unique All Points North (APN) podcast episode<\/a>, Families Do Recover: Recovery x APN<\/em>, podcast co-host and APN alumni, Dan, and his family members openly discuss how Dan\u2019s addiction and recovery process have affected them. At the same time, they shed light on the things they\u2019ve learned along the way that made their family more resilient in the face of adversity. To learn more about their story, check out the podcast or continue reading the article below.<\/p>\n In his individual APN podcast episode<\/a>, Addiction Helped Me Cope Until It Didn\u2019t: Recovery x Dan<\/em>, Dan shared his personal story with addiction and recovery at APN. However, in his family episode<\/a>, Families Do Recover: Recovery x APN<\/em>, Dan goes even deeper into how this affected his loved ones.<\/p>\n \u201cAs hard as it is for the individual that is suffering [with addiction], it’s probably equally as hard for the family members,\u201d Dan said. \u201cI think the message that family members or significant others provide is just as powerful as mine because although it’s kind of like the same journey, we both have different paths of getting there and we both have different experiences. Yours wasn’t necessarily an active addiction, but you were just as a part of it as I was.\u201d<\/p>\n Dan\u2019s sister, Perry, also opened up about how her brother\u2019s addiction affected her.<\/p>\n \u201cIt’s a tough spot to be in because, on one hand, you can sense that the other person is not themselves. You know they\u2019re struggling \u2013 going through something \u2013 and you want to be protective of them,\u201d Perry said. \u201cSo you want to almost tell yourself it’s not really happening and defend them publicly \u2026 or make excuses for them \u2026 On the other hand, you want what’s best for them. You want them to be healthy. You also want to figure out a way to help them get out of it and you don’t have all the answers \u2026 it was a difficult spot to be in, so it was day-by-day. It was very tricky and very uncomfortable and then at other times I wanted to be really selfish and close my eyes and just not deal with it.\u201d<\/p>\n Dan shares from his perspective how he felt about his sister\u2019s reaction while in active addiction versus in recovery.<\/p>\n \u201cI always thought, like, I’m putting the pills in my<\/em> mouth. I’m doing it to my<\/em> body. I’m harming myself.<\/em> I’m not harming you<\/em>,\u201d Dan said. \u201cI never thought about it as if, God forbid, I were to overdose and die, they had to live with a brother that passed away. Right? So I can only imagine how difficult it was to help someone [like that].\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI think it started as just fear [of] you not being here one day,\u201d Perry said. \u201cBut also, when it got to, like, your worst point, I had a baby and it became a different concern. I started getting angry with your selfishness because I was like, I have a kid around who can get harmed by you accidentally dropping a pill on the floor or, God forbid, setting the house on fire because you’re just not in a sober mindset or whatever<\/em> \u2026 So then it became anger and resentment, whereas it started as fear and worry.\u201d<\/p>\n For Dan\u2019s mother, it was a completely different experience.<\/p>\n \u201cIt was a very sad and trying time,\u201d said Debbie, Dan\u2019s mother. \u201cIt was a time where I would have liked to be in control of a situation and I couldn’t. I couldn’t no matter what I did. \u2026 So not only was I sad, but I walked around with extreme high anxiety over what could happen. What would happen if I couldn’t do it? Who was going to do it? \u2014 Not realizing that the only person that could do it is you,\u201d Debbie said.<\/p>\n In fact, it was only when Debbie finally relinquished control that Dan was able to surrender to sobriety.<\/p>\n \u201cYour surrender, more or less, was when you were in the hospital and you were there by yourself,\u201d Debbie said. \u201cWhen they told me everything was going to be okay, I looked at Daddy and I said to him, \u2018We’re out of here.\u2019 I was so angry \u2026 So me being angry \u2026 allowed you to see a little different me because I wasn’t sitting there and saying, \u2018What can I do for you? How can I help you? Let’s do it this way.\u2019 I just left you there and \u2026 allowed you to have your deep feelings and your thinking and without anybody there.\u201d<\/p>\n Dan\u2019s sister also had an interesting perspective to share on how her brother\u2019s choice to seek treatment affected her.<\/p>\n \u201c[When Dan finally surrendered to his addiction, I felt] extremely relieved,\u201d Perry said. \u201cBut at the same time, equally scared. Because I was like, you have to want it<\/em>. And I can’t force you to want it. It seems like you want it. I hope you want it. And I hope it sticks.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n Just as Dan previously highlighted, addiction is something that affects more than just the addicted. So does sobriety.<\/p>\n \u201c[When you finally took the steps to get sober], it was a breath of fresh air for me,\u201d Debbie said. \u201cI couldn’t be more proud \u2026 it’s not just me that’s proud of you. Your entire family is \u2026 the old Daniel\u2014that’s what we’ve been missing for a while. And now we have our old Daniel back.\u201d<\/p>\n Dan\u2019s mother isn\u2019t the only one celebrating the victories of his sobriety.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m unbelievably proud and just so happy that you have found an inner peace and a purpose,\u201d Perry said. \u201cYou have a different outlook on life and I think you take it day by day. You’re able to be more vulnerable and open yourself up to situations but also be honest with your boundaries \u2026 I know that you\u2019re on your journey and doing your best every day, which is all anyone could ask of you or anybody else.\u201d<\/p>\n While it all might sound too good to be true, the happy Brody family that opened up on Recovery x APN didn\u2019t get to where they were without a lot of hard work. For them, APN played a huge role in their overall healing process.<\/p>\n \u201c[Family therapy at APN] changed my life,\u201d Debbie said. \u201cLori, [our APN therapist], was able to say to me [what] no one has ever said to me before: \u2018I know exactly what you’re going through. I went through it. I still go through it with my daughter. Some days are just going to be great and sometimes it won’t be, but I’m telling you you’re not in this alone. You’re not the only one.\u2019 And she explained it in a way where I used to come off those phone calls [feeling] relieved that you were in a place where they were taking care of you \u2026 she got us all to be able to say what we wanted to say to you because \u2026 up until then were afraid of saying it.\u201d<\/p>\n Dan\u2019s sister, Perry, also spoke about how working with APN impacted their family.<\/p>\n \u201cI think that you had really great people around you who educated you and therefore you’ve educated a lot of us,\u201d Perry said. \u201cWe did some therapy during the beginning of your recovery and I think we all got a different perspective on how to support you. I think those tools have remained in place. So I think it’s helped our dynamic, especially because you’re sober and we’re all happy and able to enjoy you sober.\u201d<\/p>\n The Brody family is able to highlight the importance of seeking help when needed, not just for the individuals struggling with addiction, but for their loved ones as well.<\/p>\n \u201cI could see how [APN] structures their programming and how they think about their clients\u2019 recovery and how invested they are in it,\u201d Perry said. \u201c[Especially] how they help educate and bring in other family members to help make them successful\u2014I hugely commend them for that \u2026 You just don’t know what’s the right way, what’s the right thing to say, and how to handle it. I just feel like we all got the right messaging and toolkit. Like, you want a toolkit in these situations. You want someone to be like, \u201cHere’s how I recommend you handle this situation.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n In processing the podcast episode with his colleagues, Dan opens up on his views regarding the stigma of addiction and how that can affect family dynamics.<\/p>\n \u201cIt’s very easy \u2013 especially with the stigma of drug addiction or alcoholism \u2013 if you have a family member that’s going through it, for you to wipe your hands with it and not be there because of the stigma of it,\u201d Dan said. \u201cIn my experience, my family didn’t do that. They were going through a lot of things and frustrated with me and there was fear involved. There’s a lot of things that could have caused them to say like, \u2018Go figure it out. We’re gonna go to sleep, and hope you’re there tomorrow.\u2019 But, they didn’t.\u201d<\/p>\n Still, Dan knows that\u2019s not the case for everyone.<\/p>\n \u201cLooking back on it and hearing other people’s stories, it’s funny,\u201d Dan said. \u201cBecause when I share in the rooms, I had to get comfortable in sharing that I come from a comfortable background and I have a supporting family because half the stories you hear, they don’t have that \u2026 I just like feel there’s guilt associated with that because I had these things that other people didn’t have.\u201d<\/p>\n The reality is, if more people had a family like Dan\u2019s, more people would probably get sober sooner<\/em>.<\/p>\n \u201cIt’s a unique balancing act because you wanna be there to support but you don’t want to push them away too. So, you know, I give my family credit \u2026 they were a huge part and still are a huge part in my recovery,\u201d Dan said.<\/p>\n Because the Brody family has unique experience with multiple members recovering from addiction with a collective 40 years of sobriety, they have some interesting insight to offer others who may be facing similar challenges.<\/p>\n \u201cThe only advice I could offer is you just love your loved one the most you can and you do the best that you can because you’re not in control of it,\u201d Debbie said. \u201cThe only way they’re going to get better is if they choose to do something with it. I remember not wanting to hear that because I really thought I [could] do it. You cannot do it. You cannot do it unless that person is willing to do it. And once that person is willing, the road opens up.\u201d<\/p>\n Dan\u2019s sister offered the following advice.<\/p>\n \u201cDo your best not to be offended or take things personally,\u201d Perry said. \u201cYou have to be able to say to yourself over and over again: They\u2019re someone else.<\/em> Like, this is somebody else. This is not the brother that you know.<\/em> This is not about you<\/em> \u2026 I think my most successful moments [came from understanding it was] not personal.\u201d<\/p>\n Just 18 months sober at the time of filming, Dan and his family were able to have some pretty healing conversations throughout the Brody family podcast episode.<\/p>\n \u201cIt was a little nerve-wracking for me, but I’m so appreciative [and believe] it made us even stronger,\u201d Dan said. \u201cI think communication is key. [And it was good for me to hear my family was angry with me]. People are allowed to get angry \u2026 as long as they communicate it properly \u2026 it makes the family stronger to be able to communicate those things \u2026 [Without my family\u2019s support], I wouldn’t be sitting here today.\u201d<\/p>\n It certainly takes a lot of courage to not only have these conversations in the first place, but also to publicize them. Dan, however, highlights the benefit of this type of discussion.<\/p>\n \u201cI think what’s unique about this episode is so many people have similar scenarios where like a sibling [or child or spouse is in] active addiction or struggling with mental health and they’re unsure what to do or they don’t feel like anyone is relatable,\u201d Dan said. \u201cTo let everyone know like my mom\u2019s husband and two sons are on this journey and it’s okay. There are solutions and there’s plenty of help to get there. You don’t have to do this alone. I think it helps others. At APN, we do a great job with family services and I think some people are hesitant to rebuild relationships, but it does get better. You just need to ask for help and see there are people out there that can provide that support.\u201d<\/p>\n If you\u2019re interested in learning more about All Points North and our addiction, trauma, and mental health recovery programs, submit our confidential contact form<\/a> or call us at 855.934.1178<\/a> today. You never know how recovery can positively impact both yourself and your relationships until you begin that healing journey.<\/p>\n Listen and watch the Brody family\u2019s episode of Recovery x APN below, and find more episodes on YouTube<\/a>, Spotify<\/a>, and Apple Podcasts<\/a>.<\/p>\nHow Addiction Affects Loved Ones<\/h2>\n
Surrendering Control<\/h2>\n
Family Pride \u2013 Sharing Joy in the Victory of Sobriety<\/h2>\n
Family Therapy at All Points North<\/h2>\n
The Stigma of Addiction and Typical Family Coping Mechanisms<\/h2>\n
Brody Family’s Advice to Individuals With a Loved One Struggling With Addiction<\/h2>\n
Healing Through Open Communication<\/h2>\n
More From the Brody Family<\/h2>\n