John Abraham<\/a>, a renowned figure in the National Football League<\/a> (NFL), is celebrated for his exceptional skill as a defensive end and outside linebacker. With a career spanning 15 years, he quickly established himself as a formidable force on the field, later enhancing his legacy with impactful stints at the Atlanta Falcons<\/a> and the Arizona Cardinals<\/a>. Accumulating over 130 sacks, five Pro Bowl selections, and two All-Pro honors, John Abraham’s contributions have solidified his status as one of the premier defensive players of his era.<\/p>\n What makes John so interesting is his unique story of failure and triumph. He courageously opened up about his journey into sobriety and healing on the All Points North (APN) podcast episode<\/a>, I Had to Reframe My Thinking to Heal: Recovery x John Abraham<\/em>. To find out more about John\u2019s recovery story and his time spent at APN Lodge<\/a>, check out the full podcast episode or continue reading the article below.<\/p>\n Like many stories of redemption, John\u2019s story starts out with a rock bottom scenario that ultimately pushed him to make necessary changes in his life.<\/p>\n \u201c[Right before I got treatment for the first time], I was going through one of my manic states,\u201d John said. \u201cI was not feeling well mentally and it was going on for probably about six or seven years, but I was steadily fighting it because I wanted to be strong. I was thinking that one day [I\u2019d] just wake up and be fine.\u201d<\/p>\n As it turns out, John would soon find out he was far from fine.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd that day, you know, I chose to go to the hospital again,\u201d John said. \u201c[But] there was a cop there and he had his back turned. I felt that would be a good way to commit suicide without anybody knowing, so I attacked the cop [and started going] for his gun. I thought that would be enough for him to shoot me, but he didn’t \u2026 this [was] the first time I ever felt like something’s wrong with me.\u201d<\/p>\n While John had been grappling with mental illness for some time that was only further exacerbated by his substance abuse, he finally began to understand the gravity of his situation after having hit rock bottom.<\/p>\n \u201cThis is the first time, mentally, I was like, John I really think this is serious<\/em>. You know?\u201d John said. \u201cBecause all the stuff I had before the suicidal thoughts\u2014the self-mutilation things, [the] hurting myself in any way possible, hitting my head, or driving under [the] influence [and] wanting to crash, or doing things that really [weren\u2019t] viable to stay in life\u2014[all made me realize how bad it had gotten]. [After that], I prayed and I was like \u2026 if you can stop this mental stuff I’m going through, or at least help me through this, I’ll stop drinking.<\/em> And from that day, I haven’t picked up alcohol since.\u201d<\/p>\n Although John had left the world of substances behind, he still had a lot of healing to do to move forward. His first stop would be at a treatment facility for alcoholics.<\/p>\n \u201c[From the hospital], I went to a [rehab treatment center] for alcohol and I was kind of like, this is not my problem<\/em>, you know?\u201d John said. \u201cBecause we have to identify, \u2018Hi, my name is John, I’m an alcoholic.\u2019 I said all that and I still want[ed] to kill myself \u2026 so [I thought], what’s the point of me being here<\/em>?\u201d<\/p>\n Whether it was the environment or John\u2019s mindset, he found it difficult to dig deep in the issues he needed to face in order to continue onward.<\/p>\n \u201cI spent 30 days there but the whole time I was in my mind [thinking], I can easily just sneak off. Nobody [will] ever find me<\/em> \u2026 I [was] still in this mindset [where I was] isolating myself even though I [was] around people. So when I left there, I talked to my best friend and she was like, \u2018What’s wrong?\u2019 I was like, \u2018I’m still not leaving the house. I’m still not doing anything productive. I’m still not talking to people. I’m still not being open.\u2019 She was like, \u2018Well, we found this place, All Points North, in Colorado.\u2019 I said, \u2018Man, I ain’t paying no money to go out there.\u2019 She said, \u2018insurance will.\u2019 \u2018Okay cool. I’ll do it,\u2019\u201d John said.<\/p>\n At first, John\u2019s head wasn\u2019t really in the game.<\/p>\n \u201cIf you look at [APN] online you’re thinking, okay \u2026 I can just go relax. I’m gonna go just chill for 30 days. You know? \u2013<\/em> get some free food \u2026 meet a couple people<\/em> \u2026 So when I got here, I was not open. I was not clear,\u201d John said. \u201cYou know, I went to AA meetings every night, I did all that stuff. [But] after I left [APN from the first] 30 days, [I] went back home [to] isolation. [I was still having] suicidal thoughts, still feeling like I wasn’t enough \u2026 because I spent 30 days bullshitting.\u201d<\/p>\n John was starting to realize that there was no easy formula for feeling better and that he would have to do the work if he wanted to see the results.<\/p>\n \u201cI just spent 30 days wasting time,\u201d John said. \u201cI [was] 43 years old at the time [and I was thinking to myself], you’re still a kid<\/em>. You can’t even talk to yourself about stuff \u2026 you’re scared.<\/em> [So] I end up coming back [to APN] a second time.\u201d<\/p>\n This time, John was determined to take things much more seriously.<\/p>\n \u201cAfter sitting at home, [I was] really feeling like I hadn’t left this place\u2014meaning my mind was still here,\u201d John said. \u201cSo I said, \u2018I’m going back,\u2019 and I went. I was like, whatever you say [to] do, Laura [an APN therapist], I’m going to do \u2026 when I was at home, I wasn’t washing my ass. I wasn’t I wasn’t cleaning my room. I wasn’t even driving anywhere. I wasn’t going to see people. I wouldn’t answer my phone. So \u2026 when I [came back] here [I decided I was going to] wake up in the morning, take a shower, get right, go to every meeting, work out\u2014do everything possible \u2026 I said, \u2018this time, you’re going to be proactive, just like when you played football, just like when you try to be a better father \u2026 I’m gonna go out here and I’m gonna give it my all.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n Part of giving it his all meant accepting when he needed more help than he initially thought.<\/p>\n \u201cAfter I left that second time, I wasn’t better but I was getting better,\u201d John said. \u201cMy success was waking up in the morning, getting out of the bed, taking a shower, going downstairs, even if [I] just [went] to the grocery store \u2026 it sounds very mediocre or minimal, but just walking downstairs, going to the grocery store, and being around people [helped with] getting out of that feeling of being alone. You know? I picked up writing, which really helped me a lot, [but] I still was dealing with the suicidal stuff.\u201d<\/p>\n Despite his best efforts, John couldn\u2019t seem to break free from his tormenting thoughts.<\/p>\n \u201cEverything felt broken, even though they weren’t \u2013 like mentally looking back, they weren’t broken, but in my mind I just felt like I wasn’t enough,\u201d John said. \u201cSo I came back here [for a] third time [and that\u2019s] when I figured out that I was just running from being good. I wasn’t bad anymore. I thought I was still bad, [but] I wasn’t.\u201d<\/p>\n Shortly after coming back to APN, John figured out the key to his personal recovery by using the tools he had learned in the program.<\/p>\n \u201cSo I talked to Laura [and] I was like, \u2018Laura, you know, I’m going to leave,\u2019\u201d John said. \u201cShe’s like, \u2018You sure, John? It\u2019s only been like 10 days.\u2019 I said, \u2018You know what, I’m ready\u2019 \u2026 And something just clicked \u2026 It was no more blocking my blessings. It was no more saying no the things that I knew I could say yes to.\u201d<\/p>\n After three stays at APN, John was finally able to put into practice the things he had learned and apply them elsewhere in his life. What he found was that this is a continual process that takes time to unfold.<\/p>\n \u201cYou don’t graduate,\u201d John said. \u201cIt’s all about trying to get better.\u201d<\/p>\n Another thing John learned is how to accept himself for both where he\u2019s been and where he\u2019s at now.<\/p>\n \u201cI think that’s the biggest thing is knowing that you can always change,\u201d John said. \u201cFor me, I was beating [myself up from] my stuff [in] the past. Like, how are you beating yourself up [for] stuff that you can’t change? It’s not even rational when you think about it.\u201d<\/p>\n Now, John tries to focus more on the present and preparing himself for the future, as opposed to dwelling on the past.<\/p>\n \u201cI’m thinking right now, how is this podcast going to help me a year from now?\u201d John said. \u201c[I\u2019m] not worrying about [what] I cannot change.\u201d<\/p>\n When he does get stuck in a difficult moment, John tries to remember to resource his relationships with others.<\/p>\n \u201cThe worst thing is when you’re feeling like nothing, but you always can pick up someone else,\u201d John said. \u201cEven if I’m feeling like [it\u2019s] the worst day, I can call someone that’s having a better day \u2026 and they need to hear from me.\u201d<\/p>\n These sorts of conversations and connections can help put things into perspective.<\/p>\n \u201cYou know, every now and then you’ll have your bad moments,\u201d John said. \u201cYou’ll think, oh if I [could have done] this, but then you got to look at where you are now. Look at the strength that you built \u2026 When I started seeing me getting up in the morning as an achievement, when I started seeing me taking a shower as an achievement, when I started seeing me pumping my gas as an achievement, everything seemed like a win.\u201d<\/p>\n As these new thought patterns began to take root in John\u2019s brain, his life began unfolding in some beautiful ways.<\/p>\n \u201c[The greatest] thing you can give someone [is your time and presence],\u201d John said. \u201c[For example, I knew my relationship with] my oldest daughter was gonna be the one I need[ed] to work on because she was with me through my bad phases. You know\u2014being in the league and drinking. She’s seen it all \u2026 Well, she’ll be 22 next month \u2026 and she surprised me for her spring break. That’s some shit that you don’t expect. Like, she’s in college and my daughter came to see me for spring break?!\u201d<\/p>\n Now, John\u2019s starting to see the payoff from all his hard work and reaping the rewards in his relationships.<\/p>\n \u201cYou know, like I said, making those phone calls, calling my daughters, texting them, like doing all kinds of stuff to make sure that I was a presence in their life, not just you know being here every now and then, \u2018it’s Christmas time,\u2019\u201d John said. \u201cI give them something every day. Like, I’m hitting them up [saying], \u2018What’s going on? \u2026 What [do] you want to [do]? I’m taking you wherever \u2026 I’m here for it.\u2019 So that was a big turnaround in my life.\u201d<\/p>\n As John came to find out, his relationship with his children was one of his largest driving forces helping him continue on his path to recovery.<\/p>\n \u201cAs hard as I worked on being a great football player, I had to work just as hard to be a great father,\u201d John said. \u201cAnd being a great father is more now being a great friend. You know? \u2013 being commutative, being able to talk, asking stupid questions, asking stuff that might be uncomfortable \u2026 it’s not [just] being a parent. Most of the time now it’s being a friend and being someone they can literally talk to.\u201d<\/p>\n Having this improved relationship with his daughters wouldn\u2019t be possible without all the work he\u2019s done to improve the way he shows up in relationships.<\/p>\n \u201c[Now], I can just really be in the moment,\u201d John said. \u201cI’m in this moment now. I’m not thinking about what I’m doing five\/ten minutes after we leave. I’m not thinking about getting off the mic right now. I’m thinking about being out here. Being [fully present] with my kids now, I don’t think about what I am doing afterwards. I don’t think about going through the motions \u2026 It’s always something you can get better at, it’s always something you can change, whether it’s your haircut, whether it’s your clothes, whether it’s your body. It’s always something. But, can you be happy for where you [are] right now? Like, right in this moment.\u201d<\/p>\n Being in the NFL for so long, John previously learned to focus on the negative.<\/p>\n \u201cOne thing that football kind of messed me up on \u2026 [was] look[ing] at all my negative plays,\u201d John said. \u201cI would never pat myself on the back for the positive plays, so I think that switched over into my life too. [Now, whenever] I have a human problem \u2026 stuff that happens to people that are not in the NFL every day \u2026 I start letting go. I’m like, dude you can’t keep grading yourself<\/em> \u2026 it ain’t our job to stay down. It’s our job to bring ourselves up.\u201d<\/p>\n Part of letting go of negative thinking patterns meant finally giving himself some grace, instead of constantly holding himself to impossible standards.<\/p>\n \u201cI played 15 years in the league. I got 133 and a half sacks. I made five. Instead of [being proud, I\u2019d say things like], \u2018Dang, I only did 15 years. I only got 133. Man, I was eight sacks away from being a top five. Dang, I only made five pro. I should have made seven.\u2019 [Now, I say things like], \u2018John, your test is over \u2026 You did not fail.\u2019 I didn’t fail \u2026 If I wanted to do a mile and I finished my mile in four minutes compared to three minutes, it doesn’t mean I failed. You did finish your test. Your task was completed. You can still talk about what you did<\/em> do.\u201d<\/p>\n With 991 days sober at the time of the podcast recording, John was finally ready to stop blocking his blessings.<\/p>\n \u201cI’m always going to be in recovery,\u201d John said. \u201cA lot of times my big thing was blocking my blessings, [but now I no longer do that] \u2026 We have so many blessings that we don’t know [and that we take for granted].\u201d<\/p>\n While John Abraham is certainly an esteemed retired football player, it is his accomplishments off the turf that really speak to us here at All Points North. We know that by sharing his story, he will be able to affect change with so many others who may be facing similar challenges.<\/p>\n If you\u2019re interested in learning more about All Points North and our addiction, trauma, and mental health recovery programs, submit our confidential contact form<\/a> or call us at 855.934.1178<\/a> today. You never know how good your life can get until you deal with the things that are hard.<\/p>\n Listen and watch John\u2019s episode of Recovery x APN below, and find more episodes on YouTube<\/a>, Spotify<\/a>, and Apple Podcasts<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Written by Samantha Carter John Abraham, a renowned figure in the National Football League (NFL), is celebrated for his exceptional skill as a defensive end and outside linebacker. With a career spanning 15 years, he quickly established himself as a formidable force on the field, later enhancing his legacy with impactful stints at the Atlanta […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":15,"featured_media":35679,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"rank_math_lock_modified_date":false,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[2,310,311,309,319,314],"tags":[32,66,398,269,382,410],"class_list":["post-39117","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-resources","category-addiction","category-fitness-wellness","category-mental-health","category-relationships","category-social-club-alumni","tag-addiction","tag-mental-health","tag-mental-health-recovery","tag-mental-health-therapy","tag-recovery","tag-success-story"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/apn.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39117","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/apn.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/apn.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/apn.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/15"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/apn.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=39117"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/apn.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39117\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/apn.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/35679"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/apn.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=39117"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/apn.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=39117"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/apn.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=39117"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}Reaching Rock Bottom<\/h2>\n
What\u2019s the Point?<\/h2>\n
Leaning Into Vulnerability<\/h2>\n
Third Time\u2019s The Charm<\/h2>\n
Continuing the Path<\/h2>\n
Big Beautiful Changes<\/h2>\n
A Former NFL Player Who No Longer Blocks His Blessings<\/h2>\n
More From John Abraham<\/h2>\n